Getting Closer

Sooooooo close....

Spring Break 2012

On what is my last Spring Break as a student, 
here's what I did:

Laundry

Of course the washer had "an issue" when there was a TON of laundry to do.

Went to meetings
 

What does this food have to do with going to meetings?  A lot.  Lehigh knows how to do meetings.

Applied for jobs and networked
 

This photo does not convey the mental exhaustion associated with both these activities.

Drank gallons of tea and took pictures of it

It's mah faaavorite.

Watched

Portlandia-style

Baked
 

 Matcha Biscotti

Baked
 

"The best thing you've made in a long time"   --HH

Baked
 

You need to make this now.  Really.  Go.  I'll wait.

Ate
 

Unbelievably good.  Guiness and chocolate go together like...pie and a fat ass.

And shredded.

See the pictures above for why I am NOT on my way to losing up to 20 pounds in 30 days!

The break, it was good.

Trying Not to Freak Out

Cliche

I have been many sizes in my life: normal, healthy little girl, baby fat teen, thin young adult, and uncomfortable-for-me overweight.  Anyone with half a brain (and eyesight if you look at me) can tell which one I am now. 

And I'm not happy about it and haven't been in a long time.  

But I've been too lazy, and nervous, to do anything about it.  The lazy part isn't unusual for the average American but the nervous requires a little explaining.  I know it's a cliche--it seems everyone around me is constantly "dieting." Just like everyone else,  I've talked about starting an exercise program (here and here) but I don't think I've said why dieting, exercising, etc. makes me nervous.  It's because for about 7 years I was bulimic, starting in college.  It was awful, disgusting, shameful, all-encompassing.  I equate it to being alcoholic (one day and a time and all that) except with the added challenge of the simple fact that one can live without alcohol.  Not food (and who would want to?).

So anyway, I've tried to lose weight later after getting "better" and after having slowly packed on weight after each kid, but each time I felt myself slipping into the crazy.  The obsessive.  The frightened.  So I'd stop.  And crawl into a tubby cocoon.  

But I think I'm finally getting to a point in my life (hello, 40's!) in which I'd like to be as healthy inside and out as I can. I'm going to exercise, watch what I eat (without avoiding fun stuff like birthdays, nights out with friends, etc. for fear of taking one bite/drink and sliding into The Crazy.).

I want to be healthy and not tired all the time.  I want to sweat only when it's actually hot.  I want to be strong.  I want to be a role model for my kids in every way I can.  And for some reason, I want to do this without passing out. Wish me luck.

Happy New Year!

One of the best things about my new career is learning something new every single day.  I love that.  And the fact that the things I learn are so interesting certainly helps.  I've always considered myself a pretty open-minded (though opinionated) person but working with international students has opened my mind in ways I never could have imagined.

The two portraits below were taken by Anthoni, who is graduating in May. I miss him already!  Look at him--is he not the cutest??

One culture I thought I knew pretty well from books/movies,etc. was Chinese culture. I've always loved Chinese literature.  I love the poetry of their words.   But one part that I misunderstood was that I always thought of their culture primarily as one of obedience to the state.  There's much more to it than that.  China is such a large country that, just like the US, there are subcultures just as there are so many dialects.  I think you would have to travel to every province to begin to understand it all. But one of the best parts of their culture is shared by all Chinese and something that I share with them--a love of tradition and family (friends and blood relatives).

Qin is an artist and as lovely as she is quirky.  Those glasses have no lenses but they look cool!

Filial piety is an important part of that.  Sometimes, in books and movies, the respect for elders can seem binding and restraining, but I've seen the other side of it in these students--a genuine love (and like!) of their parents and a desire to make them proud.  It's not something I consciously thought about when I was their age.  I wanted my parents to be proud, sure, but mostly I was all about me me me.  The balance can be delicate between making themselves happy and their parents proud but at its heart it is, for lack of a better word, very very nice to see.

Chenkai had the nerve to go back to China after getting his MBA because he didn't want his mother to miss him too much.  I miss making him blush by telling him about his awesomeness.

And the food!  I love the symbolism of almost everything they eat and the attention to detail in a simple dish.  HH would love to eat Chinese food every night but what is served to us Americans, so I've learned, is a bastardized version of the authentic dishes served in China.  When I asked what the difference was between what we have and "real" Chinese, my friend Chenkai said "Sugar.  Everything you eat is so sweet." And I get that.  As I get older, I'm finding I like things less sweet and more savory or tangy.  I can't wait to go to China to taste the difference. Until then, I'll just have to make my own.  Here's what I made for our Chinese New Year dinner--a new tradition!

Back to front:  Noodles for long life, spring rolls for family reunion, and crab dumplings for wealth.  (Edamame was there because we like them)

 

Tangerines for luck

Almond cookies for a sweet life

10 Wishes for 2012

1

Let's not call them resolutions because then there's so much pressure. 

1. See a friend find her feet again
2. Graduate with a 3.9 cum GPA (I can't help it, I'm a dork) 
3. Crack The Boy's teenage veneer to get to know the new him better
4. Not react (negatively/personally) when The Girl is being 13
5. Hold HH's hand more
6. Get a better grip on a few things
7. Get a new job career
8. More patience for #'s 3 and 4
9. More patience in general
10. Health, happiness and all the rest for all I love